"I'm tired," is all I am thinking a as I drive into the parking lot on Friday evening. It's time for WyldLife Weekend Camp. How can they possibly expect me to work all week and then get on a bus with 150 middle school kids? But that thought quickly flees from my mind when Brenna and Tori come running over, smiling at me, welcoming me and sharing with me their excitement that I'll be leading their cabin. God quickly reminds me of 2 Thessalonians: 3:13, "Never tire of doing what it right."
Come Saturday morning, what's running through my mind is, "I'm almost 40, and they've kept me up all night cheering, dancing and singing." I can't help but think how silly I must have looked to them. We're off to breakfast and club, but not without first stopping for a snowball fight with the boys! Lauren and Brie just love our time together. I would cheer, dance and sing all night just to build a relationship with them and be able to share Christ when they are ready. Again, God reminds me, "A cheerful heart is good medicine" (Proverbs: 17:22).
As the end of this day nears, I think, "My heart aches." We've had less than 24 hours together and we've already shared our hearts, our hurts and our fears. What is it like when dad doesn't ever come home? Why can't my brother and sister see that the choices they are making hurt our entire family? What if something happens to my family while I’m away — I'm afraid of being without them? At 12, 13 and 14, can you truly understand what it means to trust Christ? I am quickly reminded that many of these girls look and act happy on the outside, but inside they desire to have someone listen to the fears they have on the inside. I remember Proverbs 14:13, "Even in laughter, the heart may ache."
As we arrive back at the parking lot after our great weekend together I think, "How can I leave them?" Who will make sure Alyssa knows how much she has to offer the world? Who will remind Chrissie that beauty is not just about what everyone sees on the outside? A rush of prayers flows through my mind. "Oh God, use me, find people to support us so that we don't have to stop spending our time with kids and we can keep going to camp. Help me find time; help others to come along side and share their time and talents. I can't believe the weekend is over. I want to be able to go back to camp and forget about work. Let's sit again tonight in silence and look at the wonder of God's beauty in the middle of a snow-covered field."
I can't stop my mind from racing. I know I have to let them go until we're together again, but I will pray for them and I will thank them for changing me this weekend. As I hug them goodbye, I remember 2 Timothy 1:14, "Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you — guard it with the Holy Spirit who lives in us."